


Bring Your Children to Work Day

by arestorationofbalance



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Crack Treated Seriously, Duke and Cass are mentioned in passing same with Alfred, Found Family, Gen, Himbo Bruce Wayne, Hurt/Comfort, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arestorationofbalance/pseuds/arestorationofbalance
Summary: As Bruce Wayne’s secretary, you knew better than to question your boss’s eccentric attitude and hobbies. But this? This was too much./ Relief washed over you when you heard a crash, bickering and a creative string of curses that you’d have to forward to HR to add to the ban list.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	Bring Your Children to Work Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Offendedfish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Offendedfish/gifts).



> Started my new year off with a silly chat with @offendedfishnoises.

You knew that Bruce Wayne was an idiot but he made up for it by being rich and hot. Plus, he was your boss so you had to politely smile any time he rolled into meetings, sluggish and eyes red as if he was hung over. You couldn’t ask more than a “Sir, are you alright?” whenever you saw the bruises that he hid beneath the cuffs of his suit. He’d wave you off, saying something about practicing Brazilian Jujitsu for charity.

But this? You _had_ to say something lest he fire you for making him look like the office imbecile though his other employees knew better than to bat an eyelash at his antics. You were his secretary though. There shouldn’t have even been a situation to begin with or at least not until noon.

Relief washed over you when you heard a crash, bickering and a creative string of curses that you’d have to forward to HR to add to the ban list.

There they stood, his children that ranged from late twenties to early teens, nearly identical copies of the man aside from the youngest with his bright green eyes. You noted that Miss Cassandra was absent, likely at her ballet classes still. She was always a good girl.

Your eyes recounted the children. One was missing.

“We forgot Duke!”

“He’s in Spain with his friends.”

“I thought he said New York?”

“Where he _should_ be is in school, which is another reason why the old man needs to stop collecting kids and be a real-”

“ _DAD!_ ”

You blinked as you watched Damian’s new pet hop from its little glass bowl and onto your boss’s chest, tucking itself into the front pocket of his blazer.

Mr. Wayne looked at the creature in his pocket and the one that he held in his hand. The colors were different with one a bubble pink, decked in business casual from a white short-sleeve shirt that was respectably tucked into khakis with a belt, the look being completed with a bold, red tie. The other was bright blue with a pinkish outline, naked as all starfish you’ve encountered have been.

You turned towards one of the boys, knowing that they could provide an explanation whilst your boss took _too many_ minutes to determine the difference between the two creatures.

Looking at Jason expectantly, you cleared your throat to catch his attention. He was the usual suspect whether it was 30 pizzas -no toppings, no cheese, no sauce- donated to the office by one Dixie Normus or tricking some clueless old, rich person into believing that he was their grandson and needed money.

“What? You seriously…? Okay, _fine_. It started off as a joke but then it got serious when I saw how hurt the little guy was.”

“Jay, you moved his sleeping rock from his room and out into the garden,” Tim pointed out.

“ _Who_ helped me?” He shot back. “’Sides, did you see how Alfred was _coddling_ the thing? It’s like _I_ -I mean, _we_ didn’t exist.”

“And don’t act all innocent over there either, Dickie. You replaced Jarro’s bed with a pile of rock candy, knowing damn well B forbade him to eat sweets after seven. _Admit it._ You. Set. Him. Up.”

Damian clicked his tongue. “Tt. I’m disappointed in you, Richard.”

“At least _we_ recognize that Jarro is his own person instead of treating him like a pet.”

The four continued to argue amongst themselves as you checked in on your boss, now holding the two starfish in each hand with arms stretched out in front of him, face contemplative. You massaged your temples and looked at the clock. It was only 10 AM.

Dick, realizing your exasperation, apologized. You couldn’t linger on his smile. You already had inappropriate thoughts about your boss. You couldn’t make it worse by thinking of his son that way too.

“This morning, Jason thought it would be funny to replace Jarro with _that_ , to see if Bruce would notice. And ya know what he did?”

“He took one look at the outfit and asked Alfred if it was ‘bring your son to work day’, walked past us during breakfast and came here.”

“You wouldn’t believe the tears coming out of little Jarro’s eye. We can’t have _another_ Wayne with daddy issues.”

You had to agree with that one.

“Which is why we’re-”

“ _Here’s_ the difference,” Mr. Wayne finally exclaimed, tapping at the outfit of the pink starfish. “I knew I got you something higher quality than this shoddy pleather belt.”

He tucked little Jarro back into his front pocket, earning a squeak of happiness. “But if you’re you, then is this...?”

The boys looked at each other and then at you. You sighed.

“No,” you said, exhaustion clearly evident in your voice. “This is Patrick.”

The sound of Mr. Wayne’s laughter was enough to shock you into a slightly more alert state.

“Oh, _I know_. Do you know how many times I had to watch that show with them? I wanted to have them all here with me for Bring Your Children to Work Day.” He beamed. “And _clearly_ my plan worked.”

Fatigue washed over you once more and you chose your words carefully, trying to decide on what to address first.

“Sir, two of them aren’t here and Bring Your Children to Work Day was yesterday.”


End file.
